Our journey began on January 25, 2011 with a simple email. "How are you doin' after that tough Vikings loss yesterday?" He had me at the word "Vikings". That was the introduction I had to the love of my life. After some emails, phone calls and chats, we met in person, fell in love, dated, got engaged and made it official on March 25, 2011 when we got married. Those months were full of joy, excitement, love and anticipation...
We both knew that we wanted to have children shortly after we got married. So our plans included talking about kids, dreaming about the future and preparing ourselves for all the excitement to come.
You know what they say about making plans, right...well we've been learning about that since March. We didn't have any luck getting pregnant those first few months of marriage but didn't get too concerned. It sometimes takes a while; and I'm 'getting up there' as far as baby-making goes (36) and we had had a lot of excitement. I had a regular appointment with my doctor in June and she mentioned running some routine blood work just to be safe and make sure we didn't have any other complicating factors. My blood work all came back good. She recommended using an ovulation predictor kit for the next month to be sure we were going the 'right things' and the 'right times'. :) Another month passed with no success. She called us back in to check Si's numbers.
July 13 is a day we'll never forget. We got a phone call at 9:45 am that changed our world. Si's numbers were not normal and as far as they were concerned, we weren't able to have biological children and there was nothing more they could do for us. The next couple of months were a whirlwind as we saw a urologist here in Rogers where we heard the same news and then were referred to a urologist in Tulsa. He offered a glimmer of hope through a surgical procedure where he would do a physical biopsy on Si and check the numbers under a microscope for himself.
My husband is the bravest man I know...the surgery he went through was extremely painful with a slow recovery, but he faced it with courage and determination. When we got the results it wasn't good news, but wasn't bad. They had found immature sperm cells, but none were maturing - so we were referred again; this time to a fertility endocrinologist (Dr. Blackwell) at Tulsa Fertility Clinic. After she reviewed our results, she gave us the final news we were dreading - the news we assumed was coming but just afraid to imagine - we are not able to have biological children.
Through all of this we have had moments of anger, sadness, frustration, confusion, and grief. It took it's toll on my faith and on Si's relationship with God. It has easily been the single most-difficult thing we have faced. But we have faced it together. Each day we have woken up thankful for one another and that we are not facing this alone...or with anyone else. God clearly knew what he was doing when he caused our paths to cross...Si's constant love, calm & stable support and logic has been the balance to my emotions, doubt and grief.
The day that Dr. Blackwell told us we were not able to have biological children she also opened a new door for us - the door that we are now walking through - and that is the door to embryo adoption. It is something that Si and I had never heard of. It is something that is one of those things that is a game-changer...and a LIFE-changer.
Over the last few weeks, we have learned that couples who go through IVF often have embryos that they are not going to use themselves for a myriad of reasons (they are able to have the biological children they desire, they are not able to maintain a pregnancy, etc...) and they need to decide with to do with them. They can choose to a) discard them, b) donate them to medical research, c) pay to keep them stored forever or d) donate them to another couple who cannot create their own embryos.
We asked to be put on the list to be considered to receive donated embryos. We were accepted as recipients and told there were donated embryos available for us the very next day. Since then we have been filling out paperwork, researching, learning and preparing ourselves for what is to come.
And what is to come? Well - on Monday, October 24 we have a hearing where we will officially adopt 2 embryos - embryo A and embryo B. It is almost surreal! Once it is legal, the clinic will begin to prepare my body to accept them via embryo transfer. Once they are transferred to my uterus it is up to God and my body to produce a pregnancy and, hopefully, children that we so lovingly desire.
We have spent the last 2 weeks thanking God for the couple that had the courage to donate their embryos to a couple they have never met, for trusting that God has a plan for the lives that are just waiting to come to fruition.
This blog will track the rest of our process. We invite you join us through the journey we are about to take.
We ask for your prayers.
We welcome your thoughts, comments and questions. We feel like this is our chance to make a difference and raise awareness of something we've never heard of in embryo adoption.
God has very graciously led us to this point and we are confident that God's grace and love will continue to light this path.
